Hey y’all! My name is Ashley and I blog over at 5ohWifey: life as a mommy & cop’s wife. I am so excited that Chelsea is letting me post here today! So first, a little bit about me.
I am amazed every day by what God is doing in my life. I am a southern girl now living in California
against my will. I am the wife of 5ohHubby who is a police officer and wonderful man and no that’s not mutually exclusive. I am a stay at home mom to an amazing little girl I call 5ohBaby and she is my whole world. We have probably the cutest, ugly dog out there (5ohPup). I want my blog to be a place where we can laugh together, cry together, and just be real with one another.
I have gotten a ton of advice from other parents before and since we had 5ohBaby. Some of it we’ve loved, some of it we’ve researched and some of it we’ve totally ignored. I know when my sister told me it’s 10 months up and 10 months down when I worried about weight, I
ate at Yogurt Time twice that day more than gladly took it. Today, I thought I would share all the best advice I have gotten as a new mom
Wait Ten Months To Worry About Your Weight
It takes you 10 months to gain your baby weight, but boy aren’t we surprised when it doesn’t just drop off the minute we have that baby. As my sister says “Ten months up, ten months down”. I didn’t obsess over the weight while I was pregnant. To be honest, I gained 50
incredibly delicious pounds. But not all at once. I slowly, pound by pound, month by month, gained the weight in a healthy manner. Now that I am 5 months out I am itching to get back into my pre-baby clothes. Don’t laugh. Truth is, it will probably take me another 5 months to lose the weight I gained. But that’s totally ok. At least now I can blog about mommy style.
Do it- it’s a healthy mindset to have.
Write A Love Note To Your Child
I’m a sap for love letters. 5ohHubby and I went out and immediately bought a journal the day after we found out we were pregnant. I love the verse on the cover. We started writing 5ohBaby that day. We told her how we found out about her, wrote to her after her ultrasound, wrote about her baby showers, the plans we had for her, how much we loved her, what our hopes and dreams were, everything we could think to say. When she finally arrived, we wrote her birth story in it. We continue to write her as she continues to amaze us. As life goes on, we will write her on her birthdays, on special occasions, and about wonderful moments we wish to capture. We plan on giving it to her the day she graduates high school. Your letter doesn’t have to be as involved as that. You can make it your own, but plan ahead for their future.
Do it- its important to invest in them emotionally.
Go Out With Your Baby
I know going out in public seems like the last thing you want to do when you have a new baby. But let me tell you, if you take the right safety precautions, it can make your life so much easier. You don’t have to go anywhere fancy. As anyone who’s had a baby can tell you
you can barely walk because everything still hurts like a mammajamma you don’t necessarily feel like walking all over town right after you deliver. But you can, and should, do simple things. My mom took 5ohHubby and I to the park and to eat at Outback about a week after 5ohBaby was born. Once you get out in the real world you’ll realize its not as hard as you thought it would be. When they are still so young like that, they have no idea where they are anyways, so you might as well get them used to doing things. That first time I needed a ton of help and a diaper bag full of unnecessary items. Now I can just grab 5ohBaby on my own and go just about anywhere on with only a few things.
Do it- its good for your body.
Go On Dates
I was exclusively breastfeeding 5ohbaby so it was really hard for me to leave her for the first time. There was crying, screaming, and separation anxiety
but I calmed down eventually. 5ohHubby and I had a wonderful day where we sipped champagne, read grown up books, talked about things other than diapers and ate an uninterrupted dinner. True, we didn’t go very far. True, we checked on 5ohBaby 4 times. True, although unfortunately, I had to pump in a public bathroom. But we got to feel like people again rather than just parents. We got to be us again and it was romantic.
Do it- it’s good for your marriage
Set Up A Sleep Routine
We moved 5ohBaby to her room at about 8 weeks. I wasn’t sure I was ready but 5ohHubby pushed it and I’m glad he did. We all slept better. To be fair, I did spend that entire first night staring at 5ohBaby through the video monitor, but eventually I learned to sleep without her right next to me. We also used a sound machine that plays rolling ocean waves. Buy one. Like, yesterday. She has slept “through the night” since then. It acts as a sleep cue when we lay her down (awake and on her back- no matter what) and also helps her self soothe when she wakes up in the middle of the night. We also have a simple bedtime routine to help her know it is time to go to sleep. Bath-Baby Massage-Book-Breastfeeding- Bed.
Do it- it’s good for your sleep.
Set Up A Schedule
It doesn’t have to be super complicated. It doesn’t have to be exact. But it does have to exist. On Mondays, we do grocery shopping and our play group. Tuesdays, I work on my first responders wives ministry and we have small group. Wednesdays we spend time as a family . Thursdays, 5ohHubby and 5ohBaby have daddy/daughter time at a gym and we usually have dinner with friends. Sundays, we go to church. One Saturday a month I have book club. Some weeks we do all of these things. Some weeks we miss a few. But routines are a positive thing for us and for our babies.
Do it- its good for your family.
Do Something For You
It is easy to get wrapped up in being a mom. I am blessed to be able to be a stay at home mom and make faces at my sweet little one all day. But sometimes I need contact with other grown ups. I wasn’t getting any so I started a book club that meets one Saturday a month. I am a part of a girls night in order to build friendships and accountability. I go to a Mommy & Me group to pick other mom’s brains. I learned to make cake pops and my mother in law’s chicken and dumplings because they are delicious and more fun than working out. It doesn’t matter what it is you do that’s just for you, it just matters that there is something you do that is just for you.
Do it- it’s good for your mental health.
Ask For Help
Babies don’t come with manuals. And just because you get advice from someone, doesn’t mean you have to take it. Talk to friends and family members who are parents. Call your doctor. Get on twitter (follow me) and ask other mom’s for advice. Poll your facebook friends. Talk to your spouse. Blog about it. Whatever you have to do.
Just do it. It’s important.
As you all know, we were having some sleep issues with my little Miss Alea, so I especially like her advice on establishing a sleep routine. It is so, so important to do this early on & get them used to going to sleep on their own. Trust me. You don’t want to end up like Cory and I trying to sleep train a 19 month old. They’re a little more opinionated then 😉
Thanks so much for this fabulous guest post, Ashley. I’ve made a mental note to try a few of these pointers and I hope the other mommy’s reading this do the same.
As always, if any of you would like to guest post on my blog, just shoot me an e-mail >> firstname.lastname@example.org I’d love to hear from you!