Disclaimer: I’ve been hesitant to post the story of our family for quite some time, basically since I started my blog. I feel like I’ve kind of been hiding it from you all because I don’t want to bring unnecessary judgement or unneeded scrutiny. But you know what? I’m tired of hiding it. I’m stepping out of the shadows and telling you our story today. Because that’s just what it is, our story. It’s how my little family came to be. Take it or leave it, but this is us.
Cory and I met when I was going to college at Viterbo University in La Crosse, WI. He’s actually from that area and lived a couple blocks away from my school. We met at a party one night and that’s as far is it went. Until he texted me on my birthday a couple months later. Just completely out of the blue on my way to my friend’s boyfriend’s cabin to celebrate, I received a “Happy Birthday!” text message from Cory. When I look back and think about it now it kind of makes me giggle to know that one little text message started it all. How twenty-first century are we? I responded with a quick thank you and he responded asking me how I was planning to celebrate. And then I never texted him back.
Until almost an entire month later when I was laying in bed in my dorm avoiding studying for my Chemistry exam. I remembered that I had never responded to him and immediately apologized. He invited me to a BBQ at his house, but I ended up backing out at the last minute because I didn’t want to go alone. That rejection, led to another invite that I actually agreed to. Him and his friends had tickets to the fights. Yes, you read that right. Full-on UFC cage-type fighting. They had ring side seats and for some crazy reason I agreed to go with him and a group of his guy friends. (Cory’s always been such a romantic!)
That afternoon before Cory was supposed to pick me up, I ended up going out to a hibachi restaurant downtown for a birthday dinner with friends. We talked and laughed and watched the chef do all those fun tricks and then when I got back to the dorms I felt it. I felt like I got hit by a truck. And couldn’t get to the bathroom fast enough, if you catch my drift. If you’ve never had food poisoning, I pray you never get it. I was just picking up my phone to text Cory and let him know that I wouldn’t be able to make it when he was calling me to let me know he was downstairs already to pick me up.
So, I bucked up, fixed my make-up quick and headed downstairs PRAYING that I wouldn’t toss my cookies (or other things) while we were out. It ended up being a fun night though. His friends had a little too much to drink, gave me a hard time, and I took it with stride. (Cory says that’s when he knew I was a keeper!) We joked around and I honestly don’t even remember much of the fights. I was too lost in the moment with Cory’s arm around me. And later that night, back at his place with all of his friends, he leaned down and kissed me for the first time. Just a simple, sweet little peck that I’ll never forget.
We spent every moment we could with each other after that and made it “official” (you know, back in the day when you weren’t “official” until it was “Facebook official”) on April 24th, 2009…
…And then two months later on June 21st, 2009, my period never came. I took a pregnancy test that afternoon in my friend’s bathroom and picked my jaw up off the floor after seeing two pink lines. Looking back on that day, I hate that my first reaction was fear. And lots and lots of tears. At just 19 years old those two pink lines were scary. They were unwanted.
I’ll never forget when I told Cory. He was living in Hudson, WI at the time and working in the Twin Cities and we were just trying to figure out how all this long-distance relationship stuff worked. I called and told him the news on my break at work and he never ever left my side after that. We talked and cried and laughed on the phone for hours that night. We weighed our options, but there was never a question in my mind of “keeping” the baby. She was already mine. Already growing inside of me and already creating something so special between Cory & I.
And another shocker? Cory and I never got married and still aren’t to this day. We talk about it and we know that we will get married, but we’re not ready to yet. Right now our top priority is Alea and me finishing nursing school. We’ll figure out that whole marriage thing once I’m done with school and we know we’re ready. I think it’s different for us too. We’re both the product of divorces. His parents got divorced when he was younger and mine have been for a couple of years now and we know for certain we never want to put Alea through that.
We started out things a little bit unconventional and maybe even “sinful” in some eyes. But this is our family and in our eyes? We’re doing pretty darn well for ourselves and our family.
And now looking back? Those two pink lines and the little girl that came with them changed my life in every way possible.
You want to know how our family started? It started with two pink lines and the little Alea Anne that came after. She’s the glue that brought us together and continue to hold us together today.
No marriage certificate or ring could ever hold us together like our little girl does.
Linking up its ok thursday, thriving thursday, thankful thursday, on my heart, desire to inspire, Jenna’s Journey and thankful thursday
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This is a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing this part of you. Family isn’t defined by a marriage cert. it’s defined by love.
Xoxo
What a great story Chelsea! That is great that you two have an amazing bond and I am sure that day will come that you two tie that knot and nothing will change in your relationship, except a ring and a marriage certificate. Love is a strong bond, with or without marriage. I commend you for waiting and finishing school and making sure things are in order before you do tie the knot.
Not everything happens that way it is planned, and that is ok.
All that matters is Alea has two parents that love her more than words can ever day!
Thanks for sharing!
Aw, I love this! It’s great that you two are still together, it sounds like you’ve definitely found a keeper! (I love that a text message started it all, for my husband and I it was a MySpace comment after we ran into each other at a concert. Oh technology haha)
If you guys do decide to get married eventually, imagine how much fun Alea would have helping plan and be a part of your big day!
What a beautiful story!
xoxo.
Oh gosh, I sure hope nobody judges you for this! It’s a beautiful love story…it’s your love story!
P.S. Now that I’m “old” and 30…can you make your text size bigger! I’m squinting over here! 😉
This is a beautiful story!
I agree…what a beautiful story. There is no cookie cutter way that things are done anymore. Everyone has their own story which is great. Just because you don’t do things the traditional way doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. Beautiful family!
I’m laughing still that you never texted him back. Oops! And I know of several unconventional stories like yours, I think each story is unique and as long as what you’ve got going on is working for you, that’s what is important. You have a lovely family!
Rushing into marriage itsn’t always the best route to take– no shame in that! You have a beautiful family and story 🙂
I love this post, I don’t think you should ever hide the story that made you who you are. I was raised in a very traditional Catholic family and I got engaged three months after exclusively dating my hubby and we got pregnant before the wedding! Here we are 5 years together, 3.5 yrs married and two baby girls later : )
What a beautiful story, Chelsea. Mine is quite similar – – I’ll share it some day when we meet up for coffee…deal? hehe
Oh, Chels. I am SO incredibly proud of you for being brave and posting this. I know how nervous you were about being judged or people looking down on you. Your story is so familiar though these days. As you know, mine is similar.. just that I’m old. 😉 You and Cory are both amazing parents to Alea and I’m proud of you two for sticking together and waiting until you’re done with school to tie the knot. You’ve got time. Love ya!!
Hey girl, you’re not the only one! lol. I was pregnant during my first year at college at the ripe age of 18 and gave birth at 19. The whole father part didn’t work out, but I met and married my husband at 24 y/o. My husband was only 21 y/o, lol. Yep, I’m robbing the cradle! At least people think that he looks older than me.
You have a lovely story! And don’t be afraid of marriage. I was raised without a mom and my husbands parents divorced after 26 years of marriage. We married despite being told we were to young. Nine years later and we’re still going strong.
Sometimes you just know when it is right and I have no doubt that you will know when it is right for the two of you.
thanks for sharing girl!
thank you dear for sharing your story. That little beauty has created something great between you all, no rings needed. 😉
-wHiT
You are so incredibly brave for sharing your story Chelsea! Sometimes things don’t always go the way you planned and that is okay!! You guys are doing so much better than some “normal” families. Love you girl!
Thank you for sharing. You never know how sharing your story could save the life of someone else.
I love this story! No judgement here! You guys have the family thing right! And you’re doing right by Alea and that’s all that matters! I love seeing all of your pictures on Instagram and LOVE reading posts by you!
Such a great story Chelsea! Things never work out as they were planned.
I didn’t plan on having a baby at all and now I have a two year old I wouldn’t give back for the world.
I commend you for sticking with your schooling and being an amazing mother! Props mama!!
¤´¨)
¸.•*´
(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
http://www.raising-reagan.com
Thanks for sharing your story. I think it’s beautiful.
Shoot girl, your story isn’t weird or sinful at all! It’s super sweet! Maybe one of these days I’ll share my own story, which is laden with all things crazy, sinful and pretty much illegal.
Oh honey, every woman’s first feeling when they find out they are pregnant is fear! And you aren’t even one of the pioneers of getting pregnant without first going to the courthouse.
I have a daughter who just graduated college, and four more kids who are going to sometime in the next few years. So I’m not a ‘kid’ saying this: I don’t think God cares if you went to the courthouse first. If you belong to each other, and only each other, and you are raising a family together – you are just as ‘married’ as any of the rest of us. (And more so than some!) I hope for your sakes you get married soon because of the stupid laws which could have create huge problems for your family if you needed to deal with medical issues and a fussy hospital administration.
If God’s unhappy with either of you – it wouldn’t be for the way your beautiful little family began. I think you can trust me on this one.
i love love loved this. thanks for sharing. xoxoxoxo
Nothing to be shamed about at all! Thanks for sharing!
Chelsea, Your family and story are beautiful. You are blessed. Make your own life and live from your hearts and do not believe you and your family are anything but a miracle. Take good care of each other. Blessings
love that you shared this! things work out differently for everyone and there definitely is no “normal” way to do things anymore. i think some people might not agree that my fiancee and lived together and then bought a house (and 2 dogs) before we were even engaged. but it worked for us and that’s all that matters! 🙂
— jackiejade.blogspot.com
I was actually wondering the other day about you two, mostly because I couldn’t remember Cory’s name. Then I couldn’t remember if you were married and I couldn’t find out (mostly because I felt kinda like a creep for searching, haha!) so this is good timing. I think it’s awesome that he stuck by you and I think you guys are great for Alea. You can tell she loves you and that you love her, and really, that’s the most important thing.
My story is pretty similar to this, so it’s nice to see that I’m not the only one. 🙂 My boyfriend and I had been together for two years, but had broken up for a year. I got pregnant two months after we had gotten back together. And even though I adore my little boy now, I had the exact same reaction you did. And my first reaction was that I didn’t want to keep the pregnancy. But I’m so glad I did. We’re not married yet, either, but we’re planning on it once we can afford the kind of wedding that we want. I’m glad you shared this! You’re definitely not alone!
David and I got married when I was 8 months pregnant with Fin because he was still technically married when we got together and it took FOREVER for their divorce to be finalized because she was a total crazy person. (I kid you not).
There was nothing but drama surrounding us-his parents hated me, blamed me when in reality I had NOTHING to do with that split. She had a kid “with David” (looks NOTHING like David! NOTHING) and ended up giving him up for adoption to her parents after milking David for child support and alimony ($1000 a month) for a year when her parents had the kiddo the WHOLE time.
Like I said, LOTS of drama around us. We got married in a court house (for free because the guy felt sorry for us, I kid you not). We’ve yet to have a “real” wedding and we got married so fast for the insurance-we did plan on eventually getting married. Seven years, 3 kids, 2 cats and 2 dogs later he’s still my very best friend. Despite the drama and mess around us getting together and having Fin, time heals all wounds. I’m proud of you for sharing this and I truly see no shame in this.
Also, I hate telling people our story because I hate the weird looks or judgmental looks people give. but I felt like I should share it with you just to show you that you’re not the only non-traditional one out there 🙂
Oh sweetie no need to worry bout shame its such a beautiful story. I think that if you and him are very happy together that is whats most important.. plus you are so young you have plenty of time to get hitched 🙂 I say take your time..
((hug))
Maybe I’m totally oblivious, but I never would have guessed that you guys weren’t married! The way I see it, is there are plenty of married couples who are less happy than your sweet little family and don’t love each other the way you guys do. If people ever say anything rude about YOUR family, I’ll come and give them a good kick in the pants. 🙂
What a great story!
Stopping by from Its OK Thursday!
Alright Chelsea…Aside from your adorable family story, your hair looks AMAZING short. Love love love it!
Stopping by from a Thankful Thursday link up.
I think it takes courage to share your story like you did. You have so many encouraging comments before mine and you won’t hear different from me. God bless you and your beautiful family. 🙂
Beautiful story!
I love you. I understand the hesitation but I love that y’all don’t want to get married for the wrong reasons, I love that you’re waiting until you’re both ready and that you found the courage to post this. I adore you and truly believe that everything happens for a reason and Alea was brought into this world for a purpose. You’re a strong, mama, Chelsea! xoxo
Our stories are very similar and I’ve semi shared mine here and there, but never like this. I think it’s awesome that you put this out there, and I love all of the encouraging comments you’re getting!! We aren’t married either, for the same reasons. Not until we’re absolutely sure! That doesn’t make us any less a family. Xoxox!!
thanks for sharing your story. I really liked reading it and I’m happy you decided to write it!
You look so different with your hair short! Gorgeous, of course! So glad you shared your story, Chelsea. I think each unique story has a unique inspiration to offer to others. 🙂
Aww, sweetest post I’ve ever read! You’re an amazing mom and Alea is VERY lucky to have you both as parents! <3
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story at the risk of being judged by others. Those that are quick to judge need to recognize that we all have a story to tell and God is always working in each one of us. Love getting glimpses into who a person is by posts like this! Xo, Eva
I love your story! I think it’s really great that you two choose to focus on your daughter and let the “paperwork” aside. All it is, is a piece of paper anyway, you’re already essentially married in your heart! Thanks for sharing this on Desire to Inspire so I got the chance to read about your little family!
Sending you sunshine,
RACHAEL
http://thegrowingtreeblog.blogspot.com
I’m so glad you shared your story! Anyone that is judgmental can suck it because family is family – no matter how it’s made. Pieces of paper don’t make families and in my family’s case, neither does blood.
I just want to say that I have a story as well, and I lost a lot of friends over my choice and some family was very upset. But now it is the best thing I’ve ever done and I laugh in all the nay-sayers
(Continued) faces and revel I’m going on five years with my hubby. Things happen unconventionally but years from now they make the best stories!
I dont think its anything to be ashamed of! Its your life and why hide who you are…no piece of paper can make you better than anyone else.
claudia @ http://www.prettylittledahlia.com
You are beautiful and brave AND God loves you all!! Every life has a journey and sharing it helps others with theirs. Keep your eyes on the positive!
Thanks for sharing your story–you have nothing to be ashamed of, you had your kid, you love your guy and you’re sticking together. But as an old fuddy-duddy myself with 18 year of marriage under my own belt (to my college boyfriend) I have to ask…what are you waiting for? I can’t understand how people who love each other can be afraid of marriage, especially once they add kids to the mix. I hate to break it to you, but your kid doesn’t know that you’re not “official”–she knows she has a mom and a dad who love her and each other. If you were to split now the only thing that would be easy is the lack of paper work. It would still be traumatic to a kid. You have nothing else to “prepare” for, so do it. Or don’t. Don’t say you’re not ready, because, honey, you’re living the life.
I agree 100%! That’s my family, too. Kind of. We got together in 8th grade and got pregnant half-way through Senior year. And I come from a VERY small town where everyone knows everyone and if you don’t know what you’re doing, someone else does. I also live in a very Mormon town in Utah. So yeah, imagine the judgement I got. It got to the point where I could stop them in their tracks and tell them everything they were going to tell me because I’ve heard it so many times. Karsyn is now 18 months old and we go engaged at Christmas and are getting married in July and I couldn’t be happier!
I love your honesty Chelsea and your sweet little family. All that matters is that love is there and it is very obvious that you all aren’t lacking in that department. 🙂 And you are SO young! LOL 🙂 So much time to make those big decisions.
Our family got an unconventional start 15 years ago, and it all started with an unplanned pregnancy. Your story was beautiful. I can relate to so much it. My husband and I didn’t get married until five after our oldest was born. He was a part of our wedding and even got his own wedding band. 😉
PS I’ve been enjoying your blog so much that I linked back to it this morning my Sharefest post on SITS!
Great story, Chelsea!!! I’m glad you shared!! : ) And GO YOU for sticking with school, it is SO hard to get anything done with a kiddo!! Hope you’re having a great weekend! xoxoxo
Everybody has their story and I’m glad you shared yours. It’s refreshing seeing how different families come together no matter the circumstance.
So crazy that this story is exactly like mine and we still aren’t married either! You have a beautiful family & I’m glad you shared your story!
I came across your blog from Becky at From Mrs to Mama. This is beautiful story. One I know all to well. My now fiancé and I dated for 11 years and have 3 kids together and we just got engaged 6 days ago. Great story
I tried to comment via the blogloving app on my phone the other day, but I dont think it worked. Anyway, 1) your hair makes you look totally different. wow. 2) as long as you both provide her with a loving home, nothing else should matter in anyone’s eyes 🙂
xo
Love your story!!! Thanks for being so open about it as well.
We were slow to marriage as well…7 years living together before we married and the 7 years before we had our first kid. We’ve been married 15 years now and I wouldn’t change anything about waiting so long to marry. We did what was right for us and I feel like we were a family long before marriage and long before kids.
You’ve got to do what is right for your family and then your family will thrive!!!
I love this sooo much! Beautiful post Chelsea. Loved learning more about you. 🙂
This is SO similar to our story! We didn’t get engaged till Jasper was almost 2 and married when he was 3 and a half. It works for US 🙂
This is wonderful! Every story is different and you’ve been very blessed 🙂
My husband proposed to me after a year and a month later I didn’t get my period. I was 19 too. I always hated our story because I felt like people would think he only proposed because of the pregnancy, but we didn’t even know at the time. Three kids later we are still happily married and I have reached the point of not caring what others think anymore. We are one happy family and that isall that matters! Thank you for sharing!
We have such a similar story:)Found out we were pregnant with our first when I was nineteen. It’s been three years and another little boy added to the mix, yet were still not married. Honestly, isn’t that big of a deal to either of us- so I can totally relate!
I know there are plenty of people that will judge, but I try not to ever let it affect me. You always gotta live your life the way that makes you happy, not others.
Glad you took the step in posting this- such a sweet story!
Thank you so much for sharing! I’ve been debating on whether or not to share my own similar story and you’ve given me the courage to go for it!
I feel like you just jumped in my head and wrote MY story.
Some babies can make relationships tougher and some make then stronger. I think we’re pretty lucky ladies to have the stronger version 🙂
Kayla
Mamanemery.blogspot.com
How have I never read this?? This is amazing and so are you! Keep it up girl!
xx
Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes
I’m a new reader and I love this! My boyfriend and I started dating in April of 2009 as well, and we now have a little boy (22 months old). We’re not married yet either! It’s something we definitely plan to do, but we are already a family. It’ll happen when the time is right. Anyway, you don’t have to be married to be a family. 🙂 Best wishes!
Erika
Beautifully written! What a great story! Not sure how I’m just now getting around to reading this!!
xo-lianne
http://www.lulabelleblog.com
Families come about in all different ways, in all shapes and sizes. You should be very proud of yours. Just found your blog via Living in Yellow. 🙂
PS – I went to college in La Crosse! And that statement just made my mouth water for a Del’s Bloody Mary.
I absolutely loved reading this insight into your life! Such a beautiful story and I’m so happy everything worked out. There are times when I’ve thought I missed my period and even bought pregnancy tests out of fear. I remember how absolutely scared I was, thinking I might be pregnant. I never was, but I love your line about thinking that it was silly for you to be so afraid because Alea has changed your life in such a great way. I guess with undesired pregnancies, we tend to think of the fears a lot, but actually having a kid sounds like a totally wonderful experience! Thanks for sharing 🙂
We have a vary similar story, However, after 8 years of sticking it out through the roughest of things, we still aren’t married, but now I constantly call the love of my life my husband. To us, we are. It’s not the wedding or the piece of paper that make you married, its the commitment to each-other. And I truly feel after reading this, you both have that. Anyways, I grew up southeastern wisconsin, near about 45 minutes from Milwaukee, and now being a few thousand miles from home (in Ohio,) it is great to see a fellow Wisconsinite, and to know I frequent your blog is awesome! .. Thank you for sharing your story Chelsea!!
http://www.sheilalynee.wordpress.com
Awww I am so glad you shared this story!
You are brave to share this. Thank you!!
Thank you for sharing your story with us! It is so brave for you to speak out despite social stigma.
I think it’s amazing that we’re the same age and yet you’re doing things that I could never do! It’s totally amazing that you have a husband, child, and are also finishing school. If it were me, I’d be totally overwhelmed. You go, girl! I love your blog and I’m totally subscribing to your posts 🙂
The Lord knows our hearts, Chelsea 😉 And no one is perfect. From what it looks like now you guys are still doing great, and at this point are even happily married. So many can only hope for such happiness.
As your reader, I am happy for you and blessed that you shared your story with us!