Photos by: Landon Michael Photography
Today’s the day. This is my last first day of school. My first day of my last semester of nursing school. I’m feeling so many different emotions, I can’t even begin to describe them all. Mainly, I’m just overwhelmed. I’m overwhelmed with joy that I’m almost done. I’m overwhelmed with anxiety because of all the tests, quizzes, projects, and studying that lies ahead this semester. I’m overwhelmed with that “student hat” I have to add to all the other hats I wear once again. I’m overwhelmed with that nagging feeling of mommy guilt about the time I’ll spend away from my sweet little girl.
Not that I don’t think I can do it. I know I can do it. I’ve been a mother and a student for 5 semesters now. I’ve successfully passed 17 classes while being Alea’s mommy– and gotten better grades than I had when I wasn’t a mom, might I add. I’ve survived all of that, why wouldn’t I be able to survive just one more semester. That’s nothing compared to what I already have under my belt.
I know I can do this.
I’m well organized. I keep lists like you wouldn’t believe. I’m absolutely addicted to my Erin Condren planner. I love color-coding with all 16 of my different colored pens. I’ve earned the nickname “Neurotic Nelly” from my nursing school friends for good reason! I schedule out our meals and activities during the week and in general, I’d say that I’m even more organized when I have even more on my plate. It’s funny how that works, isn’t it? My neurotic, organizational ways don’t stop me from that tight, breathless feeling in my chest though come the beginning of the semester.
I just have this silly little habit of getting stressed-out far too easily. Every semester I get horrible anxiety about going back to school. Without fail, I cry like a baby days before about having to leave my baby at daycare and about all the inadequate feelings I’ll inevitably have about being a mother and a nursing student.
I really don’t want to feel that way this semester though. I’m not going to sit here and feed you lies about how I’m confident about this semester and I’m walking into school with my chin held high and my shoulders back, but I will tell you that I’m trying harder this semester. But I’m not going to try harder to be more. I’m going to try hard to be exactly who I’ve been each semester I’ve been in this nursing program. I’m going to cook dinner for my family, but not feel guilty when I have call and ask Cory to stop and pick-up dinner on his way home from work. I’m going to spend every second I can snuggling and kissing my sweet little girl and not feel guilty about the time I have to spend away from those snuggles studying.
It’s all about finding that balance. It’s not easy to find that sweet-spot where you gracefully toss all those balls up in the air and rotate them in your grasp without giving up and letting them all fall to the ground. It’s not easy at all.
But, I’m starting this semester reminding myself why I’m putting myself through this stress in the first place. I’m in nursing school because it’s always been one of my biggest dreams to become a nurse. I’m in nursing school because a nurse is what I’m truly meant to be. I’m in nursing school because I’m determined to better the life of my family and show Alea that dreams are meant to be reached, no matter what.
I’m in nursing school because even though it’s quite the balancing act, I know that it’s going to be 100% worth it in the end. And in 18 weeks come graduation and pinning, I’ll be giggling that I ever stressed about any of this in the first place.
I can totally do this!
Friendly Friday | I miss my friends
baby’s first haircut
Worldess[ish] Wednesday
new camera
You are going to be SO ok through this amazing last semester Chels!!!!! You have proven time and time again that you can wear many hats and wear them well!
When you graduate in 18 short weeks and get a job, you will have to take Alea to daycare then too and she, like so many other children will do just great there! What a wonderful summer you two have had together. You’ve given her a strong foundation to grow on…. good job Mama!
xo Happy Day Girl!!!!!!!!
You can DEFINITELY do this!!! It will be bittersweet in the end. Good luck!!
xx
Yay you can do it!!! Go girl go!!
You go girl!!
You will rock this semester! Can’t wait to hear how your first day back went!
Hope you have a great semester. I feel the same way about organization I accomplish more things when I have a lot of things to do and short amount of time. This was supposed to be my last semester in college, but getting a math degree has been the hardest thing in my life so far. I’ll be staying one more year to finish and that has become a stressful part of my journey, but I know that in time it will all be over and the easier part of having this degree will begin. Someday! Take care and have a great week! =)
You can totally do it! So close to being done, have a great semester and pretty soon you’ll be joining the work force – you’re going to be a great nurse!
You will do great, plus being so close to the end is SO rewarding! 🙂
You got it girl! It’s so refreshing to read a post that’s just as filled with confidence as it is honesty about your worries. I hope you’ll be able to reflect back here if you ever get too overwhelmed. You’re awesome!
You can do it and you are so close to achieving your dreams!! I can’t believe you are so close to being done! It will all be worth it in the end, get it girl!
You’re right. You CAN do this and you will. Like I said in my text to you last night, I’m SO so very proud of all that you’ve accomplished. It’s not easy being a nursing student and it’s certainly not easy being a nursing student while you’re a gf, AND a mom! Alea won’t remember all of the time you were away from her. But, she WILL remember all of the time you’ll have together in your future! That is what matters most. I’m so excited for you and can’t wait until December for you. Love you lots!!
you CAN totally do this. evey mom feels guilt, even when we have the logic and reason to know we shouldn’t. we can do it all, but that doesn’t mean we have to!!!
I so feel you on this! I was miserable yesterday and dreading going back today. I have made it through 4 semesters of classes, but for some reason I am just not feeling confident about this semester! And it is such a balancing game, you are going to rock it!
This is your dream, Chelsea. You’ve been working so hard to raise a beautiful little girl and fulfill your own ambitions. I have anxiety, so I’m not going to tell you to get over it. I know it’s not that easy. Just know that you’ve been doing the right thing and all you need to do is stay the course. By New Year’s Eve, you’ll have one more thing to be an inspiration to your daughter and to struggling young mothers. If you ever need support, reach out to me. 🙂
You can do it, good luck on your last semester!
xx
Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes
Congrats on starting your last semester of nursing school! I went through an accelerated BSN program (12 months) – I cannot even imagine balancing being a parent and student at the same time. Kudos to you for doing it! And the good news is I really enjoyed my last semester in nursing school. It was really busy but it wasn’t as study-intensive as the previous semesters. I had a lot more papers, clinicals, care plans, and group projects, which broke up the monotony of studying flash cards every night. I’m excited to hear how the semester goes for you!
I love this!!! And those pictures are really adorable!! You can so do this. Extra pre-planning and making sure you have just a little you time (extra long shower?) and you’ll charge right through this semester!! All my best.
This is an exciting day for you! Congrats on your final year!
I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award! Check it out! http://www.mustardseedmommy.com/2013/08/the-versatile-blogger-award/
If you are wearing those pants, you can do anything!! Wear them every day and you can reach your goals! JKJK, but they are really that awesome! Keep you head up!! I actually miss school sometimes!! Only sometimes, though!
Good luck!! I don’t know how you do it! You’re a serious inspiration!
As someone who has a baby and is considering going to nursing school, I really enjoyed your perspective on this! Congrats on being so close to the end!
Congrats on your last semester of school! I wasn’t a mom during law school, but I can only imagine trying to have a baby during that time. Now that I’m a working mom, I can sympathize with your busy schedule, but I agree…the busier I am, it seems sometimes I am more efficient!
I completely understand how you feel! I just started my second semester toward obtaining my Dental Hygiene degree, and it’s definitely difficult when you have kids and other commitments/responsibilities going on. I, too, found myself with better grades than I ever had pre-adulthood. Best of luck to you with your last semester! Congrats on getting this far!
You got this! Congrats on your last semester – it feels so good when you’re done!
last semester – wow! Get it, girl! sending you good vibes!
I’m rooting for you girl!! You have totally got this. Congratulations! You are such a good role model. 🙂