Striped Shirt + Jeans c/o Carters at Kohls
This little girl and I have had some trying times this summer. There’s been yelling, tantrums, and lots of frustration. For the longest time I feel like Alea and I have had a hard time figuring each other out and understanding one another. I think part of it is that Alea’s so much like me and sometimes I swear this poor little girl only got my bad traits– like her stubbornness and how she gets easily frustrated when she can’t get something right on the first try.
Raising a three-year-old is no easy feat. Whenever someone told me that three was so much more worse than two, I never believed them. It seemed like the very same day Alea turned three, she began trying my patience about ten times more than she was already at two. And then I could hear all those friends who warned me about that “threenager” phase muttering their “I told you so’s.” Yep… they most certainly were right.
We’ve been getting better though. These past couple of weeks we’ve come leaps and bounds from where we were at the beginning of the summer. Alea’s doing her part by laying down for a nap each afternoon (I have to lay down next to her for her to fall asleep, but that’s a small price to pay) and I’m doing my part by counting to three before reacting to her craziness. I still have to raise my voice every now and then, but I’m amazed that we’re actually seeing eye to eye a little more now.
I feel like this post is just a jumbled mess of words, but I’m really just writing this to tell you how relieved I am. I know we’re not out of the water and we just recently had a HUGE meltdown at Kohls, but I feel like I’ve finally learned how to handle those meltdowns and trying times without missing a beat. I finally figured out what I can do to calm her down and if I can’t calm her down, I know what to do to calm myself down.
Alea doesn’t react to yelling or time outs. Those things just don’t affect her or work for her. It’s like she wants me to lose my cool and she wants me to lose my patience. She knows if I reach that point, I’ll give into whatever she’s throwing her fit about. But, if I’m calm and “talk her out of her fits” in a sense, she calms down as well. I just can’t believe it took me so long for that revelation!
But, for the past couple of months I haven’t really been happy with myself as a mother. I was disappointed in myself for losing my patience and feeling so guilty for raising my voice more often then I should. One night I finally just broke down and cried and prayed that God would help me to be a better mother. I prayed that he would show me what to do. He is the one who blessed me with motherhood after all, and like they say, “If God can bring you to it, he can bring you through it.” And I truly feel like he has.
Now Alea and I have so many more snuggles, much more “I Love You”‘s and less tantrums are thrown.
Amen to that.
What gets you through the tantrums and the trying times with your kiddos?
Trendy Little Announcement:
Trendy little will be coming back next Tuesday! I can’t promise it’ll be back permanently, but there will definitely be a link-up for the next couple weeks. None of that bi-weekly stuff like before, but every Tuesday! I hope you’ll stop by and link-up with us!
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She is such a little cutie!!! Great photos. I am glad you are getting more snuggles and I love you’s 🙂
new follower from Becky… my daughter just turned 2 a few mo ago and tantrums and fits are already starting, I also have been told 3 is much worse than 2….I am trying not to lose my patience when she throws her tantrums, lately I just walk away count to 5 and then usually she is a bit more calm and I can actually talk to her w.out freaking or yelling
Snuggles & I love yous are the best reward as a mom
She’s so cute. Love her little striped shirt. I’m a bit obsessed with stripes, have I told you that? Three really is hard. The hardest for sure so far for me.. and considering that my kids are 5 and almost 10, that’s a comforting thing to know right? Because, you’re almost through it that means. Three seems to be the age where kids really start to “get” things and understand. And learning how our kids respond best to discipline is key! Alea sounds a lot like Cohen, whereas she doesn’t respond to being yelled at and needs just a good talking to.. to keep her calm and mama calm. Good job mama!
Tantrums and yelling from precious little A?!!? I don’t believe it. Terrible twos got nothing on Tyrant threes. 😉 I can totally relate but on a 10 year age difference level. L is now 13 and holy crap I wanna crawl under a rock and cry sometimes. We too are extremely alike and that can make for a bad pot o’ coffee sometimes. I do my best at picking my battles with her. I try to focus on things that are essential to her well-being, i.e. manners, safety, attitude rather than what’s bad. I notice the more I inflect how “good” she’s doing and how proud I am of her, those behaviors tend to manifest themselves a lot more. You are such a wonderful mom to an amazing and beautiful little girl, and I promise… it will get easier.
First of all, she is seriously too cute!
Second- I FEEL YOUR PAIN! Something about little girls! Maddie and I go ROUNDS over the silliest things. I just don’t even know what to do some days- we’re tried everything! So far I’ve noticed that just sending her to her room to get over it works the best for both of us.
Time outs did nothing, spanking her bum did nothing, yelling did no good, threatening to take away stuff did no good. I think her room works because she goes up there, cries a bit then plays a bit and comes down happy as can be. But for real, something about little girls. MAN!
And I SO need to find our local Kohls because DANG–CUTE stuff!!
She’s very cute. I love gray stripes and the heart is just the perfect touch!
you are not a bad mom…you are the mom of a stubborn three year old. i know exactly how you feel. exactly. my daughter is 6 now, but at 3, she was the same way. and then she stopped, but now she starts up again every once in a while. i still raise my voice, and i even laugh sometimes. but then i always tell myself that her stubborn ways will prove good for her as a teenager and adult. that is what gets me by. best of luck to you. you are a good mom…if a mom tells you she never raises her voice to her children, she is probably lying! 😉
I’m pretty sure my daughter slammed her first door at about 3 years old. haha! She turned 6 today. It all goes by so fast. Time outs never worked for our daughter either and if you yell at her she just cry’s because you are yelling at her. I try to think about how I was raised. My dad, though I love him to pieces, was a very aggressive parent as far as yelling and spankings. I see it try to make its way into the way I parent and I don’t want to do that. I don’t want my daughter to be good because she fears me. We have really worked on the calm parenting and it has worked the best.
I have a four yr old and two yr old BOYS. My youngest is going through the terrible two’s right now and sometimes I feel like giving up because time-outs don’t work but I’ve noticed that sometimes when I grab him and sit him down and explain to him what he did wrong can help otherwise my boyfriend tries to help buy calming him down and then my son will come back and say “I’m sorry mommy”. Which of course makes me a happy mommy. Lol
My four year old thinks he’s a grown up and can do whatever he wants and that’s not the case. My boys dad and I got divorced back in November and my ex doesn’t discipline at all. So when the boys come back from his house they think they can get away with things here and that’s not the case. So the changes are affecting my oldest more than my little one.
I am loving her photos!!! She is a doll! I do not have any kids so I do not have any advice. I just give you tons of props. Raising kids cannot be an easy thing to do. Hang in there girl! I think you are doing a fantastic job! 🙂
Oh my gosh she is so cute. And, as a Mom of three boys ages 6, 9, and 18, I can tell you that the 3’s were always worse than the 2s around here. And the teenage years… well, that’s a story for another day. So glad you are working through it all. This “Mommy thing” isn’t easy at all some days! Thanks for sharing what is on your heart – may help someone else going through the same frustrations too!
Love that cute little outfit! Only boy clothes over here so I just have to look at all of the girlie cuteness and dream of grand daughters some day!!
That’s great that things are getting somewhat better. I hate public tantrums. We’ve had quite a few, a really bad 1 in Target & a bad 1 in CVS. My daughter is 6 & I’m still figuring things out. She has a lot of bad habbits. We are working on them.
she is so darling. i love the outfit too. Ty is the king of public tantrums. They are the worst in church 🙁
My daughter is about to turn three and the other day she looked at me and said, “don’t talked at me!” Either she meant don’t look at me or don’t talk to me. I was like, “Oh no you didn’t little girl!” Yes my experience with both my kids have been terrible 3’s.
Alea is adorable and I can’t imagine her having tantrums:)
She’s so cute!
totally a mini teenager! But an adorable one. I don’t have kids, but I worked a s a nanny for littles of 4+ years… It never ceases to amaze me how much better they respond to a calm voice. I had more success with the 3 year old I nannied when I treated her like a little adult and expected hr to act like it. Seems odd, but it worked. Props to you for learning and growing as a a parent and finding what works for your little!
Ugh. I’m not looking forward to three. Two is bad enough! We are just figuring out how to deal with her tantrums at 2 and she’s now 2.5. Hang in there!
She is SO cute!!!
Carly
http://www.lipglossandcrayons.com
What a cutie patootie! I love the pic with the hangs on the hips. My little guy just turned 1 so I’m bracing myself for the 2’s and 3’s. I’m a Minnesotan as well! And new to the blogging world. If you have any suggestions for conferences or blogging groups in MN I’ve love to hear!!
🙂 Kate {www.happysimplemine.com}
Oh my precious!!! Also, my niece at three was the spawn of Satan so it could be worse =)
Three has been so hard for me also! I feel like around 3 1/2 though they mellow a bit. It’s just the 6 months from 3-3 1/2 where things get pretty crazy. I hate when I lose my cool with Bug. I know she is just being a preschooler but some days are harder than others. Glad things are starting to settle there too. I feel like I messed up here though since as Bug is mellowing Liam is about to turn two and his favorite thing to do is scream when he doesn’t get his way!
P.S. Love the shirt! and the jeans. Kiley has pretty much boycotted jeans.
She is just way too cute! Is it bad that I’ve never heard the term ‘threenager’? My little one isn’t even two yet and you have me nervous, lol! But know that you’re doing an awesome job momma!
You are a wonderful Mom…keep doing what you are doing as Miss Alea is turning out awesome!!
Love,
–Mom
So so cute!! 🙂
I need to remind myself of this more often! I have a little girl who sounds a lot like your daughter! Cute clothes!