December 13, 2013

Stop The Fat Talk!

This post is sponsored by Special K + their campaign to fight the fat talk and spread positivity in social media and our everyday lives.
"Oh geez! These jeans make mommy's tummy stick out!" I said after I slipped on a pair of size 4 jeans that maybe went through one too many tumbles in the dryer.

And a few days later...

While looking in the mirror with her shirt pulled up and tucked under her chin, "Mommy, look how much my tummy is sticking out!"

Yes, as much as I hate to admit it, those words came out of my three-year-old's mouth.
And there's only one person to blame for that. Myself.

I've struggled with body image my entire life. I've never been overweight, but having someone call you "fat" and say that your stomach hangs over your jeans when you're a size zero? That's something that sticks with you no matter your weight. That, among many other things, have really led me to see a completely distorted image of my body.

I know nobody is perfect. I know that chances are, I'll probably slip up and say more negative things about my body and my appearance. It happens. It's just how us women can be sometimes. We compare ourselves to our celebrity "counterparts" and think that their beauty is real beauty. We thrive off of the negativity that we've been bred to attempt to live up to. It's like we're running in place. We're caking ourselves in make-up, getting endless plastic surgical procedures, attempting diet after diet and exercise program after exercise program to try and live-up to this image that exists no where but inside of our heads.

And we're teaching our daughter's to do the same exact thing.

It doesn't have to be that way though. We, as mothers, have the difficult responsibility of instilling a positive self image in our little girls. It's not an easy task, what so ever, but there are steps we can take to help our little angels feel more confident about themselves. Alea may only be three-years-old, but it's obvious that these concepts of body image begin sooner than we may think. It's never too early to start encouraging a healthy body image with our little ones.

5 Ways to Encourage a Healthy Body Image:

one | Tell her she's beautiful. Every single day. Tell them what you love about them. Like for example, I absolutely love Alea's little button nose and her pinch-able cheeks!
two | Be a good example. Point out the things that you love about your body rather than putting yourself down. Especially in front of them. They learn so much from us, as parents. They absorb everything we say. We've got to be so, so careful.
three | Talk about their concerns. Be open about things with your child, especially when they're older. If they're feeling uncomfortable with certain parts of their body, let them tell you about it.
four | Explain that images in media aren't real. It's amazing what Photoshop can do these days, isn't it? Explain the process of photo editing to your child and tell them that the "beauty" that's portrayed in magazines isn't necessarily achievable.
five | Don't talk about "fat" and "thin," but rather talk about healthy eating and the importance of physical activity. Don't just preach these things though, practice them too and lead by example.


Next time you think about calling yourself fat or engaging in "fat talk" with your friends, stop and think about it. What are you accomplishing by discussing your body in such a negative light? You know how it is. Women get together and it becomes some kind of silly contest. Who's feeling the fattest, who has the most pimples and who's gained the most weight. It's becoming part of our everyday conversation and it's disgusting and completely self-destructive. By no means am I trying to tell you that I'm perfect and that I don't engage in "fat talk" with other women. I'm telling you that I know that I do and I know that you do too, and we all just need to knock it off. Plain and simple.

You need to watch this video from Special K and tell me it isn't true. Just try and tell me that you don't say those negative things about yourself. That you don't look in the mirror after you get out of the shower and pick apart your body from head to toe. We all do it. It's just who we say and think these things in front of that we need to be careful of. I know none of us want our daughter's or our children to look in the mirror and pick apart the person looking back at them. Just the thought breaks my heart.

Special K's campaign to "Fight the Fat Talk" is something I feel so passionately about. My heart feels like it's doing somersaults as I write this post! It hits so close to home now that I have a little girl watching and taking mental notes on everything I do and say. I want those things that I do and those things that I say to teach her how to love herself! You know? And did you know that this positive self-talk and positive thinking can also lead to positively surprising weight loss results? If you're struggling to lose weight despite the healthy eating and exercise routines you're currently engaging in, maybe you need to bring more positivity into your life? It makes sense, doesn't it? I'm just shocked that I've never thought of it like that! Be part of the change and part of the spread of positive self-talk. You might be surprised where it leads you!

Let's start the positive talk right now! Tell me at least one thing that you absolutely LOVE about your body. Don't be shy!

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  1. I love this, Chelsea! Thanks for sharing great ideas on how to combat the negative images we have of ourselves sometimes!

  2. This is a wonderful post! We often don't realize that what we say influences those around us. It's easy to get hung-up on focusing on "me," and I realize I need to be more aware of how what I say about myself affects how other people begin to examine their own bodies. Thanks!

  3. What a great post! Having a 3 year old myself and body image problems I can totally relate...thank you for these 5 wonderful tips!

  4. I don't have a little girl to think about in the same way as you do, but I think having boys, it's actually just as important to make sure I'm being careful with the things I say. I want them to understand what beautiful REALLY is. They will one day be dating (eeeek!!), and I never ever want them to think of women as "fat" or "thin" or have certain expectations. Ya know? Great post lady!! xoxo

  5. I was bullied about my weight my whole life, and most of it came from within my own home! I love that you're teaching her now what REAL beauty is!

  6. Geez, little girls look up to their mamas so much, and they will imitate EVERYTHING! Love this post, and such great tips. I tell Stella how beautiful and gorgeous she is every day. I always ask her, "Stella, how did you get to be so gorgeous/sweet/beautiful/funny/smart?" and she always says, "Jesus made me that way!" That is what I always want her to understand, that she is beautifully and wonderfully made!

  7. Great post! I was just thinking about this, it's crazy how society has such an influence on body image. No one goes around telling a 3 month-old baby that they are too pale but being tan is beautiful to high school girls. Body weight should be discussed whether you are "skinny" or "fat". Growing up everyone always talked about how skinny I was and asked if I ate, like of course I eat I'm in elementary school.

  8. i try very very hard to talk positively about myself in fron tof my kids (and at all times if i can). but yes, i am so scared for that moment when i hear my daughter with some self doubt in her voice. here's to hoping it doesn't happen!

  9. I really love this. I don't have kids but I'm trying to be less negative about my body image anyway. My husband hates it when I make comments about my body!

  10. I have made this mistake and I am sooo sorry I did! I am doing my best to correct my children's thoughts towards body image. I tell them they are beautiful everyday! BUT with me being 89 lbs overweight, I am constantly saying rude remarks to myself! I really need to stop! My 5 year old asks if she is fat if her pants are right. It's so sad! I try to teach her not to call anyone fat or skinny and that everyone is beautiful but the only way I can succeed in teaching her that is if I start believing it for myself. Needed to read this today!

  11. What a great post!! I love what you are doing for your daughter and yourself! Fantastic!! :)

  12. I've struggled with weight my whole life, especially when I went up two jean sizes in one school semester. I see pictures of pre-college body, and it makes it ten times worse. My best friend likes to fat shame on Skype too. I don't have any daughters, but I'm sure when I do, they'll be absolutely beautiful, and after never hearing that from my own parents, i'm going to tell them every day.

  13. LOVE love love this, as I stare at our 8 day old daughter…..I'm thinking about how important it is for her to have a healthy body image!


  14. This is sweet and true! Although I especially agree with #1. And never, ever criticize. Girls listen to their moms more than anyone. Growing up I had bad bad acne. I got all the teasing, the pizza face jokes. But what scarred most was my mother constantly complaining, making me feel disgusting, buying expensive treatments...and likewise getting mad when I was "blowing her money" by not using the treatments when I realized that for some reason my skin doesn't react well to acne all. And that's just one example of many. Maybe, in her own way, she was trying to help. I don't know. But she was the main reason I felt so much self-hatred. I would starve myself and the one time I'd eat she'd call me a vacuum. I'm only recently beginning to eat properly again. Anyways, the point it - mothers can do so much damage to their children, intentionally or not. Girls and women of all age are fragile, but what we learn when we're young really sticks with us. People act like children are emotionless, like they're not mature enough to be affected or understand....But that is so far from the truth.

    Oh and....

    “Thankful For Blogger Friends” –You’ve been tagged! :)

  15. Great post! I am saving this for when I have a girl of my own!!

  16. Very nice article. Body image sense for kids is most important. we should appreciate their beauty very often as said in this article. I have collected some videos on holisticdietlab dot com. Talking about fat and thin with kids is not good.


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