Confidence is something I’ve struggled with my entire life.
Looking back, I can’t really recall a distinct time where I felt smart enough, skinny enough, pretty enough or simply just good enough. It’s something that even Cory noticed when we first started dating. It’s not that it wasn’t obvious. I make it pretty obvious and confidence is something I’m still trying to improve on to this day.
I’m overly apologetic, I take things people say personally, and I really struggle with self doubt. I know we all suffer from this lack of confidence to some extent. No one is 110% confident in every single thing they do in their life. That’s just not possible. There will always be doubts and questions and that’s how we improve as a person.
One thing I’ve tried to work on towards my self-confidence is to realize that perfection isn’t attainable. Perfection is this sunny, special thing that’s set atop this mountain that isn’t accessible by hiking, climbing, or any other method. It’s just this impossible goal that we oddly set for ourselves– but why? Why would we set ourselves up for failure like that?
My goal for the past couple of years has been to really think about, pray on, and try to figure out how I can become a more confident person. Of course it helps to feel confident in the way that you look, but that’s not everything. Confidence is something that comes from the inside and while a nice new pair of jeans can help emulate confidence, it’s superficial and not long-lasting.
Why this long ramble on confidence today? Cory took these photos of me a couple of months ago and after I uploaded them to my computer I was somewhat surprised. I actually look more confident than I’ve ever felt in these photos. And it made me realize that I actually feel more confident than I’ve ever felt, as well. I’ve underwent a lot of changes in the last couple of years. I put my life out to the universe on this blog, I became a nurse, and I’m working my way through parenthood and marriage– all of which take a great deal of confidence.
I’m not saying I never have thoughts of self-doubt and inadequacy anymore, because I most certainly do. I still don’t feel skinny or pretty enough at times, but more often than not I feel this change in myself that feels so, so good. I stick up for myself, my feelings and my beliefs more than I ever have. I don’t let people walk all over me and I actually feel good about the person I’ve become. If I’m worried or anxious or feel uncomfortable in a situation, I try to just take a deep breath, throw my shoulders back, put a smile on and just go for it. I actually like myself and who I am.
My new personal definition of confidence:
The belief and certainty that I am enough and intentionally conveying self adequacy.
How do you emulate confidence in your life and leave self-doubt by the wayside?